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A Succesful Marriage Requires Falling in Love Many Times, Always with the Same Person

-Mignon McLaughin

Today isn't over yet and I just feel like being done. Moving into my dad's house and all the cleaning I have to do is exhausting. (My dad is a smoker) I want to try and get the house to smell better he's smoked in the house since I was little. When my parents split  my mom got the house until they figured something out and she washed the walls and the house no longer smelled like smoke. She ended up letting him have the house due to reasons and there for awhile he got to be a heavy smoker.

So where are moving in I'd like to have it that way again but I know it's not going to be completely smoke free because he'll be home on the weekends. (My dad works in construction) So during the week it'll be just me and my boy untill my hubby and his friend fix the propane. (Who knows when that'll happen) So I'll be here at my dad's house I guess we'll see where things go from here.

I don't mind the fact that I'm living in a half vacant house but the fact I don't have mt husband bugs me. My marraige has been on the rocks here and there but I know we can get through this. I just wish more people would support it I guess it's a hard thing to choose not because we have a kid together but because I love him so much and I know I've mentioned in a heart break post that you don't need to depend or lean on someone just because they are your other half. I do depend and lean on my husband a lot a more than I should.

Just the thought of being out with someone I love so much it's hard to think of I just wish he would see it more like that. I'm told I need to let myself  be happy but I am happy but also miserable at the same time I can't imagine my life with out him even if he he's a butt hole sometimes. I don't know what to do I feel as if I'm pretty good at advice but when it comes to give myself advice I don't know what to do. I wish it was able to listen to myself.

I want to be one of those old couples who seem happy and grow old together.


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