Skip to main content

The Change of Tides

You never know what life is going to throw in your direction it surprises me daily. I'm not getting my hopes up but this time moving back if it happens I'm excited for my husband but I'm not going to get excited so my hopes and dreams don't come crashing down.

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
Dr. Seuss
I'm going to listen to Dr. Seuss if this doesn't work out like we hope though. Whatever life throws at us we can take it, which means doing things we don't want to as well. (I say us but I mean me) I'm stubborn and want stuff a certain way but I have to learn that I can't always do that. (Here's an elephant since I mentioned water in the title)

So here's some advice when it comes to doing stuff you don't exactly want to do.
  1. Don't by time to see if things change it may sound like a good idea but can be harmful to your living arrangement and family
  2. Talk about it weigh your pros and cons
  3. Don't think so negative about it (even though you hate the town in question)
  4. Think of what's best for your family
  5. Start a new hobby once you get there (Raising chickens is gonna be mine if we move)
  6. Everything happens for a reason
These are what I have to do if they don't work for you I'm sure there are plenty of places to help you make your final decision what made me realize this needs to happen (even if I'm going to be basically freeloading) I don't like the idea of freeloading but when it comes to some of our appliances getting shut off or our phones getting shut off because we have so much debt or the fact that my husbands job doesn't compare to his old one. We have to do this to keep a roof over our heads if that isn't a good enough reason to move in with his friend then I don't know what all I know is I'm going to be cooking 3 times the amount I am now. My family is important to me I love them and wouldn't be who I am without them that also includes you I know I said it yesterday but you gave me a purpose.

I don't think I've brought it up or talked about I might have said a few things but I've never directly told you  I suffer from depression, not just epilepsy
That's why I have such a hard time moving from town to town I need a place that I feel wanted and the closest place I have found is the internet. Now some may argue you only have depression because you have epilepsy and I react to that yes and no I have depression because I have epilepsy also because I'm not confident and convince myself I'm not good enough some of the fights I get in with my husband I self-sabotage because I still don't want to believe that I am good enough to have a loving husband who helped me have a child. I still look at my child thinking I can't believe you're really mine. I've thought about ending my life because I sabotaged my marriage almost getting that divorce and because I proved myself that I could do it I almost drove my car off an overhang into the water. I'm aware that I do it I just don't realize when I'm doing it I know about the self-sabotage because it got pointed out. So to those who also have depression, I'm here to say I understand. Change is hard good or bad. (I feel I got off topic somewhere)

So I'm going to say talk to you tomorrow or later tonight and have a good day

Amanda Rost

Instagram : @EpilepticMom

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A New Decade or Chapter

It's that time a year again but, I have to do something new this year I'm considered self-employed thanks to my book . I never thought I would be able to say I'm self-employed even though I haven't broken even yet. I'm so grateful for 2019 and am ready to embrace 2020! It let in a new chapter of my life and I'm even working on my second book that will be done here soon. I'm not sure to this day if I took my first book in the right direction. The thing is you live and you learn though I hope to make a difference with my books  or book as of this moment I only have one. I do hope on releasing my second book this year titled Myself. I'm doing something that I never thought I would do but I'm revealing my true self I talked some about what I've been through in You.  I'm taking off my brave face and am going to reveal my feelings it's hard but I'm doing it. The thing is how am I going to help someone if I'm still hiding You . It

Mom Life

If you're a mom you might just ask yourself this question almost daily "Am I a bad mom" I know I do and I normally talk to my best friend or my boyfriend about it and why I feel that way. I always get told the same thing by both of them "NO you are not a bad mom you are doing what you can" That is one this every mom needs to remember you're no a bad mom if it's your first child no matter how old they are you're still learning. Every day is a new lesson. You're never truly are on your own when it comes to parenting even if it feels like it at times. As being a human you're constantly learning even if you don't realize it. Just because it's not a big lesson sometimes the smaller ones can be more of an impact than the big ones.  My toddler constantly tests my patience he tries to push me to my breaking point. I get mad but I have to take a deep breath. I know he doesn't understand but sometimes I think he knows exactly what he&#

Listen to Your Body

I always talk about how important health is mind and body, but it doesn't prepare you for unexpected health issues. Unfortunately, that's what's going on with me. I don't know exactly what's going on I do know I've gotten into the doctor as soon as possible. That's something someone should do if somethings not right monitor it and if it doesn't stop after a few days go to the doctor. I'm no medical professional this is just my opinion. I ended up finding out what was going on. I'm still going through all the treatment it was nothing deadly nothing dangerous. I'm glad everything has been figured out. Remember if something is abnormal with your body check it out your health is important. This is partially the reason I've been gone in the month of November. I found out that I abnormal bleeding in my womanhood. I accidentally overlap with two different types of birth control the depo shot and the arm implant. So that life lesson has been